A child is born into the world and does not deserve anything. It has needs but it has not invested anything in others. It does not deserve to be loved and it does not deserve to be abused or neglected. It deserves nothing. It only has needs.
Someone has to invest in this child. A mother has to give undeserved love to this child so that the child may be inspired to give undeserved love to others later in life. This mother’s love is an investment. All who love this child are investing in hopes they will inspire the child to love others.
Some children do not receive the love of a mother. Some children do not receive enough invested in them. Therefore they cannot give what they have not been inspired to give. No one took the time or effort to invest in this child. They were not inspired to love at the early age. They may or may not learn later. But it is important that the child is inspired to love early in life.
We should not invest in people in order to “buy” control over them. We should give to people to “inspire” them to give to others. We hope we can find what they need most and supply that need. If we are successful then the person will surely appreciate what we do for them. If we find the deepest need in the person and supply that need a miracle can happen in the person’s life.
If I want a friend I must first be a friend. If I am successful at being a friend and convincing the person I am a true friend then I can expect to have a friend in return.
However, I must first invest. I must “risk” my investment. Often I must find someone who is very undeserving and make a sizable investment in him or her. My investment may inspire them to appreciate me and become my friend.
I should never invest in a person with the motive of controlling that person. We much give that person the freedom to make their decisions.
It is often difficult to decide when to stop investing in a person, a friendship or a relationship.
It’s much like gambling. The more we invest the harder it is to decide when to stop investing.
But everyone needs someone to invest in them before they can have the desire or ability to invest in others.
Love must be inspired by the love from others. Love is an investment and is always undeserved. Love can’t be bought. We can’t even buy love with love.
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Givers and Takers.
I think for most instances getting what we want from others depends on our ability to find out what the other person wants or needs. Usually they will be more willing or even eager to give us what we want if we first give them what they want.
This is how successful relationships are built. This is how successful employee and employer relationships are based. This is how successful businesses are built.
However, sadly, there are people in the world who only expect to get what they want and they refuse to reciprocate. It is difficult or impossible to get what we want from these people. They are takers, and not givers. They expect everything to come their way and they don’t appreciate what they get enough to reciprocate. It is sad to say, but often they had rather do with out what they need and want rather than give something in return.
If we suspect someone we know is like this we can give to these people until we are sure we have given enough, and then ask for something from them clearly and specifically. We must ask for something that is well with in their ability to supply so they won’t have a legitimate excuse not to give it, except the fact that they are only “takers”.
It is sad to admit there are many takers in the world. Takers cannot succeed at anything in life. They cannot succeed in business, on a job, or in a relationship. They are like infinite sinkholes. They absorb what ever they can get, but they are not willing to give anything in return, except disappointment and hurt.
This is how successful relationships are built. This is how successful employee and employer relationships are based. This is how successful businesses are built.
However, sadly, there are people in the world who only expect to get what they want and they refuse to reciprocate. It is difficult or impossible to get what we want from these people. They are takers, and not givers. They expect everything to come their way and they don’t appreciate what they get enough to reciprocate. It is sad to say, but often they had rather do with out what they need and want rather than give something in return.
If we suspect someone we know is like this we can give to these people until we are sure we have given enough, and then ask for something from them clearly and specifically. We must ask for something that is well with in their ability to supply so they won’t have a legitimate excuse not to give it, except the fact that they are only “takers”.
It is sad to admit there are many takers in the world. Takers cannot succeed at anything in life. They cannot succeed in business, on a job, or in a relationship. They are like infinite sinkholes. They absorb what ever they can get, but they are not willing to give anything in return, except disappointment and hurt.
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